If you are like me and have some cashizzle tied up in the stock market or have a job thats dependent on the health of the economy, what better time then now is there to drown your sorrows in alcohol?

Sure health officials may warn against the magical combination of depression and booze, but sometimes it just feels like the right thing to do.  So now that the Dow has crashed, your boss has warned of impending layoffs and your Citibank margin purchase is haunting you, what will provide you the necessary salvation?

To try and visualize a good recommendation for the Joe Bartender readers, I tried to rember what alcohol is used in the movies.  You know, what would a regular dude order at bar when his family and friends have been murdered by a rogue govenment agency after he accidently witnessed a top government official get offed?  There is only one drink that came to mind.  That is Whiskey – Straight Up.

Now to get a little more specific, what type of whiskey should I drink.  Well since the American economy is the source of the pain its got to be an American Whiskey.  There are three types that fit the bill and they include:

Bourbon whiskey
Rye whiskey
Corn whiskey

and

as of 1941 good old fashion Tenesse Whiskey with the most famous brand of all:

- Jack Daniels -

Directions:

Shoot it (Dow Jones down 200)
Pour it over ice (Dow Jones down 201 – 600)
Sip it neat in a Brandy Sniffer (Dow Jones down 601 – 850)
Hell, drink it straight from the bottle (Dow Jones down 850+)
 
Try enjoying some other Jack Daniels drinks from Joe Bartender

http://www.joebartender.com/tag/jack-daniels/

 
JB Economy is tanking Stock Pick:

Altria Group, Inc. (Public, NYSE:MO)
Industry: Tobacco
Nov 26 – Close: $15.87

Now I know a lot of the Joe Bartender followers are bartenders themselves.  What do you see pissed off folks drinking up after a hard day?  What is your ’stress reliever’ drink?

Popularity: 44% [?]

Every year when summer rolls around, bartenders get asked by customers about which cocktails and mixed drinks are the lowest in calorie. Everybody wants a beach body in time for summer. (Hint: If you’re starting now, you’re too late!) In my opinion, if you are out drinking, losing weight is not really your priority. But, then I started thinking about the amount of calories that are in certain drinks and by making a few switches it really is possible to cut out quite a few calories. Here are some cocktail substitution ideas that will get your body ready for a bikini this year.

Read the full story

Popularity: 38% [?]

1.  Basic Drink Finder

2.  The Advanced Drink Finder

 

The second tool is the custom developed advanced drink finder.  Here you can select any of the ingredients you have laying around your home and the drink finder will look through our huge database of drinks looking for a match, and list all the possibly drinks you can make given your ingredients.  It’s been a lot of work getting this tool to function so that it benefits people the most.  Please post your feedback and we will keep making adjustments.

 
3.  Results

 

Regardless of how you search you will be directed to the same resuilts page.  It provides the drink names, and ingredients of the matching drink results sorted by rating.

Now you may notice that not a lot of drinks have currently been rated yet and thats because our rating system is new to!  In order to rate a drink simply click on a drink and click on the number of stars you would like to give it.

Ok, so now that I’ve taught you how to use some of the new Joe Bartender features, try them out and let us know what you think!

- JB

Popularity: 27% [?]

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or in Luxembourg, you’ve probably seen your share of coverage on the upcoming US presidential election. Since themed drinks seem to be a hot ticket on JoeBartender.com I thought I’d whip up two drinks in honor of each candidate and pit them head to head in the ultimate title match.

According to some highly scientific calculations, the winner of this challenge will, in fact, end up winning the US election; so vote with your heart (and your taste-buds).

First up is a drink in honor of Mr. Barack Obama:

The Obama Slamma

Ingredients:

• 1 oz Blue Curacao
• 4 oz Florida Orange Juice
• 3 oz Chilled (cheap) Champagne
• 1 Maraschino Cherry

How to Make it:

You will want it ending up in a blue tinge as any true democratic drink should be, so mix the curacao and orange juice accordingly. Since it’s necessary that Obama win the state of Florida, ONLY Florida squeezed orange juice is acceptable. Barack has 1 car, and 1 house, so fill the Collins glass up with a dash of the cheapest champagne you can find. Garish with one bright red maraschino cherry to show some bipartisan support.

The McCain Maverick

Ingredients:

• 1 oz Prune Juice
• 1 oz Light Rum
• Crushed Ice from your favorite melting glacier (Alaskan if possible)
• 5 Drops Red Food Coloring
• 1 Maraschino Cherry
• 1/4 tsp Superfine Sugar
• Red Lipstick

How to Make it:

Since this drink is designed for those over the age of 72, prune juice is an essential (and challenging) ingredient. Mix the prune juice, sugar, light rum, and food coloring in a glass. The mixture should turn from a brown to Republican red color. Travel to Alaska and crush some ice from a glacier of your choice. Mix everything together in a plastic cup (since it is essentially made out of oil) and garnish with a maraschino cherry. Put some lipstick on the rim to signify that Sarah Palin approves. Best enjoyed while watching the movie Top Gun or any other film including a brazen Maverick.

Vote above to to impact the map: 

Popularity: 26% [?]

Here in Toronto summers are short, way too short, so I try to ensure no day or night passes me by. On a warm wednesday, thursday, friday, or saturday its an opportunity, if not an obligation to join your buddies on a rooftop where you can sip or pound drink after drink of your favorite summer beverage. Now after you hang out with the same dudes/chicks night after night for hours at a time, staring at each others faces, it is often appropriate to bring some drinking games into play to keep things interesting. You can stick with the old faithfuls, but whats more fun then inventing your own game? Now I’ve made up my share of games, but only a few have survived a night’s blur, and those include ‘Bad Word Scrabble’, ‘BAM’ and the one I’m about to talk about, ‘Invent A Drink’.

I’m sure many of you have played this game, and probably given it a much better title then I have however for those of you that have not please read on. That night, our objective was to have everyone invent a drink by a set time, for us it was 11:00. At that time, everyone divulges the name / ingredient of their potential creation. The group then casts their vote for their favorite and orders it from the bar, the inventor of course gets their drink paid for. I certainly can’t remember what the losing drinks were (including the one I made up) but the winner is a favorite we get pretty much every time we head to the bar:

— THE TWISTED STACHE —

Here is how it’s made:

Directions: Pour half a shot of vodka into a shot glass and top it up with Southern Comfort. Drop the shot glass into a half glass of red bull and slam it back.

Now I know its not the most complex drink in the world but its the best our drunken conglomerate could come up with. Irregardless, it’s damn good and I recommend ordering it to jump start your night. Make sure you reference by the name ‘Twisted Stache’ at your local bar and help get one of our favorite drinks known worldwide.

Joe

Popularity: 25% [?]